Sad and a little Crazy

So... the are the conspiracy theories flying yet? And now they're saying his death might spark a backlash against the overuse of prescription drugs...

Brilliant brilliant

Three cool stories caught my attention today.

First, of course, about the US primaries. Apparently Obama and Hillary went at each other's throats in a big way during last night's televised debates. Got seriously personal. And if ever there was evidence of the need for an also-ran to just step aside: "The third Democratic contender, John Edwards, had to fight to speak." Get the scoop here. Perfect teeth and a winning smil are NOT enough to win a primary!

Franny I hoped you tuned in with popcorn!

Obama is also going after Bill I didn't enjoy the bloz Clinton these days, who is campaigning vigorously for his wife. My personal view is that criticising Bill Clinton is political suicide (Bill Clinton is a demi-god in American politics, 'first black president' and all that), but I guess Obama can't take shit lying down from some old guy that should've been impeached. And Obama would be right. But Americans do not like people attacking Bill. Just not allowed.





Second, Justin Yifu Lin, a Chinese national, is about to be appointed World Bank Chief Economist. He would be the first from a developing country. And Mr Lin defected from Taiwan to the mainland in 1979 by swimming across the Taiwan strait. But most interesting? He did a masters in Marxist political economy at Peking University, and then a PhD in neoclassical economics from Chicago, the capital of academic free-market thinking. Let's hope he's managed to sort it all out in his head.

Last, sovereign wealth funds (investment funds controlled by governments, not private entities) now control more assets than hedge funds and private equity combined. That's a LOT of money. China has the biggest (of course), and through it bought that big chunk of private equity group Blackstone last year. They also tried to buy CNOOC earlier, but Congress said no, no, no. So they're buying up less politically sensitive stuff now. Still, we've liberalised international capital markets because we understand the motives of privately-owned capital. We have no idea what publicly-owned capital might be chasing, since profits aren't a concern. Interesting times indeed! And no this is not conspiracy theory nonsense.

The Doctor.

hey peeps - here's a way to promote art and help artists.. and you get to see my photos..

The Onion's coverage of the US elections is pretty good so far

Mitt Romney defends himself against allegations that he is tolerant. "Mitt Romney's candidacy took a major hit following the discovery of statements he made a decade ago that imply he isn’t sickened by gays":


Mitt Romney Defends Himself Against Allegations Of Tolerance

Bullshit still the number issue amongst US voters:


Poll: Bullshit Is Most Important Issue For 2008 Voters

371 days till George Dubbya Bush has to step down!!

And other reasons to celebrate today: IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!

Since no-one else is gonna.... ;D

actually you probably need this...

holidays

some pics of our nye - nsw style.

http://picasaweb.google.com/talya.chalef/Holidays

My Best of 2007 - Better late than never....

Best new beauty product: Only one winner - Lucas's Pawpaw cream from Oz!
Best TV series: Grey's - I'm addicted and we download weekly episodes from the States
Best new general knowledge trick(?): Naming all the states of the US
Best abitary achievement: Smashing a wooden board with my hand
Best reads: Bitter Fruit, Boy in the Stripped Pyjamas, A Thousand Splendid Suns, The Cloud Atlas, oh there are lots more, I have had a year of reading
Best historic place: Ponsavan & plain of Jars in Laos
Best shower: Kampot, Cambodia after staying on an island with no running water or electricity for 3 days
Best seafood: Pepper Crab, Cambodia
Best thing in my handbag: Credit Card for emergancy hospital visits
Best prize: iPod nano
Best wild animal: Blue lizards in Thailand (they are real Greg!)
Best gluten free discovery: Lemon Polenta Cake made with Ram
Best shopping: Hoi An, Vietnam
Best early morning coffee: Dench, Melbourne followed by Black Medicine in Edinburgh
Best discovery: eating snow

Likewise a lot of mine are simular to yours and I'm pleased we've had such a happy year. Here's too 2008, my lovelys!

Best of '07...

A bit late I know, but here goes....

Best achievement: Completing Bob Dylan's Chronicles. It took me 3 reads, so just edged out getting my CA.
Best Hikes: Inca Trail and the Grand Canyon
Best City visited: Buenos Aires
Worst Place visited: Puno in Peru. So fucking ugly and the people suck!
Best Live Acts: The Shins at the Electric Factory, The Rosebuds and Yo La Tengo at the Trocadero and the Arcade Fire at..... somewhere in San Diego.
Best High: Bolivia's finest
Best Beach: Lopes Mendes on Isla Grande, Brazil
Best Swim: Totem Pool
Best things about North America: The bridges
Best Street: South Street, Philadelphia (it'll go back to being long st next year)
Best clothing label discovered: Felix (thanks Eubel)
Best Book: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close (to keep the Jonathan Safran Foer theme going)
Best Restaurant: Lolita in Philadelphia. A Mexican BYOB (doesn't have a liquor licence which is pretty common there). Took along a big bottle of tequila and they made us great margaritas. And the food was SO good.
Best Oppikoppi Experience: When the drummer from the Dirty Skirts stage dived and nobody caught him. I missed a lot of the Cmon and Kipsky set to catch it, but it was worth it!
Best songs: The National - Fake Empire, Kevin Drew - Safety Bricks, Feist - 1.2.3.4, Aesop Rock - None Shall Pass, Andrew Bird - Plasticities, Tokyo Police Club - Your English is Good, LCD Soundsystem - Someone Great,...... I could go on for a while
Best Dancefloor Track and Best Music Video: Justice - D.A.N.C.E

Worst Band: Gogol Bordello. It's like Corne and Twakkie doing Balkanology. Funny to see, but shit to hear.
Best Broadway Show I watched: The Producers (Only broadway show, but very good nonetheless)
Best Exhibition: Kentridge at the Goodman Gallery. Seriously mind-blowing.
Best Near Death Experience: Kerry's Hash Brownies. Mind blowing in a more literal way! Cycling down the World's Most Dangerous Road in Bolivia didn't even come close.
Best Super-Power gained from said near death experience: Telepathy

Here's to a good 2008.
Vrede

I guess Sydney isn't so bad...

I just got back from the opening night of the Sydney Festival which is a month long festival of drama, music, art etc held all over Sydney. This year they took threw free parties in the city centre on the opening night with some of the acts that would be playing the festival.

I caught the last bit of Chromeo who were apparently really good, and saw the first bit of Spank Rock who sucked (though that was mostly due to the poor sound). Brian Wilson was playing at the domain, but that would have had 50 000 people at least, so i kept clear. They estimated there were going to be about 200 000 people on the streets in the city centre, which is quite a bit, because the city centre ain't so big (all the parties were in about a 3x3 block area). Anyway, it was pretty rad being at a huge open air concert among these huge buildings, and most of the crowd behaved (quite unusual for Sydney crowds) except for one naughty tortoise who got tackled by police. He had no shirt on and a glow stick in his hand so he probably deserved it.




Check out the uber-techno Plump DJ's being broadcast on the big screen...



And this rad star wars-style sculpture on the MLC building...



And this monstrosity (i don't even know what it is) looks retarded during the day but kind of cool lit up at night...



This was one of the small stages amidst the buildings...


Anyway, i'm off to bed, lots of travelling tomorrow...

Helen's Best of 2007

mmm Best of 2007. I've had to have a think about this one, especially since most of my best of's - Kerry has already used. So not sure if these ones are all applicable to 2007, but they are what I have discovered this year. Oops it is quite a long list!

Best Day out: Butterfly world, followed by sharing a lazy lunch under the trees at Bread and Wine in Franshoek, Haute Cabriere, chocolates and great friends
Best New Album/ artist I've been introduced to: Feist, KT Tunstall,
Best value for money lunch: Pick n Pay canteen
Best Purchase: my ipod
Best High: hash brownies
Best concert: 46664 ( the patriotic atmosphere not the music) and Jose Gonzalez
Most embarassing moment: finding myself in fishnets and a raunchy air hostess outfit selling cold over priced hot dogs in the Zingara Tent while Freshly Ground performed ( on more than 1 occasion!)
Best wine tasting: Waterford wine and chocolate (and it is so pretty!)
Most arbitary accomplishment: being able to navigate myself around the streets of Jozi
Best Art: William Kentridge exhibition
Most surprsing cultural find: The Taal Monument in Paarl ( it is actually very cool. see pic!)
Action with the most serious(and unknown) consequence: frollicking in the canola fields with Alex and Sophie - followed by spider bite infection
Best overseas visitor: Talya & Alex
Most missed Birthday Party: Paula's Fishhoek bash
Best 30th Birthday party: Simon (Camillas boyfriend) on a houseboat in Churchhaven
Series most addicted to: Greys
Best Bookclub: the one we started this year
Most enlightened discovery: Kundalini Yoga
Best movies: The lives of others, As it is in Heaven, Enconters Documentary Festival
Proudest moment: Saying goodbye to waitressing after 11 years (well almost) and climbing up the ropes on Lions Head (twice)
Best new weather experience: thunderstorms in Jozi
Most Challenging: entering the world of work in South Africa 5 years behind my peers
Best new life philosophy: living in the present and not in the past
Most memorable moment: learning to communicate without words

x

Jay-Zee's new charges

OK, I need one of our more learned friends to tell me if we should be worried or not.
http://www.mg.co.za/articlePage.aspx?articleid=328880&area=/insight/insight__national/
Do we think this could get really messy?

What is it with the defense team claiming that the timing of the charges is strange, at Christmas time when "everyone is at rest". Last time I checked the charges had been looming in one form or another since two years ago. and how convenient that Mbeki can now be made a scape goat, and that COSATU and the Youth League have been positioned as ZUMA stalwarts. Or am I missing the point? (which is also likely :))

My 'Best of...' list for 2007

Best meal : 2007 was the year of the noodle soup in my world. Every bowl i had was the best meal i had this year. Except perhaps for the one in Thailand that gave me the five second warning (when your stomach gargles and gives you five seconds...). Warhol was onto a good thing.

Best food experience of 2007 : My first som tam in Bangkok. Hot damn!

Best Mix : I'll cheat here and say this Cut Copy mix i only got a few days ago. Its phenomenal, and way better than any other mixes i heard this year, except perhaps that disco mix by DJ Eli (i think i posted the link earlier in the year), but that was recorded five years ago so it doesn't count.

Best Election win : No, not JayZee, nor Kevin Rudd (new Labour Australian PM) but the ex-newsreader Maxine McKew who beat John Howard in his own electorate of Bennelong leaving him without a government to run, and not even a seat to sit in. Loser.

Best phrase or exclamation : Shityeah!



Best t-shirt purchased :

Best book : I finally read Vernon God Little. What kind of fucken life is this?

Best TV Series : Summer Heights High

Best podcast discovered just after the end of 2007 but was started during 2007 : The Erol Alkan podcast.

Best purchase of 2007 : Stopover in Thailannnn.

Best sale of 2007 : My surfboard. Surfing is the crappest sport ever. Behind golf, of course.

Best haircut of 2007: Nicole at Scar. I now get my hair cut by these clowns, and while they give you a beer while you get your hair cut (it's a Tooheys New though, which is only just a beer), the place is just propvol of fashion tragics and i feel retarded for having my hair cut there. Ja, ja Phil, i go there because i can't face spending $75 for the (cheapest) cut at Toni and Guy, where everyone is equally tragic.

Best Film of 2007 : Into the Wild.

Best musical rediscovery of 2007 : Spending hours watching Youtube videos of live Morphine performances. Sandman R.I.P.

2008 has big shoes to fill. Shityeah!

Kerry's Best of 2007

Best Live Act: Arcade Fire @ Glastonbury, Salif Keita @ Spier and C'mon and Kipsky @ Oppi Koppi
Best Music Discovery: too many to mention, but i will a few, Feist, National(can't remember if that is actually an 06), Knife, Young Blood Brass Band
Best Book: Everything is Illuminated
Best Film: Lives of Others
Best Swim: Totem Pool at Beaverlac, Clovelly in Autumn
Best Cupcake: From Lazari on my Birthday
Best New Tradition: Beaverlac on New Years Day
Best Hike: Kalk Bay to Hout Bay
Best London Moment: Samba club
Best Sandwich ingredient: Feta and Herb Dip
Best Chip Flavour: Doritos Fusion (the red packet)
Best Wedding Crashed: (Gary's mates from London) Ed & Bianca's wedding in Drakensburg
Best Wedding: Brigitte and Jeremy's
Best SA Discovery: It is a close call between Nieu Bethesda, Rustlers Valley, Golden Gate and Drakensburg. We live in a beeeoootiful country
x

Keep the dream Alive

Never fear Greggles, Kerry is still here. Facekrack will not kill our blog if I have anything to say about it (I do realise I may not, but I have never been known to keep quiet for long)

HAPPY 2008-and-great TO YOU ALL!

As I do not have any pics of the new years revelry i am borrowing from Hels' selection of our little camping expedition to Beaverlac in the interim:
The Great Gazebo Debate: poles numbered 1 to 6, hmm any ideas?

Who goes camping without tent poles?? Thank god for a tree and some rope eh?

Eubel and his mushrooms


This game of rummy got heated, a massage was the winning prize and it was hotly contested

Yoga under the aforementioned gazebo


Totem Pool's distinct rocks

Facebook killed the blog star

:-(

The best of...

One thing I love about the end of the year is all the 'best of..' lists. It's an opportunity to disagree with and pretend to know better than the obviously-uninformed taste of some high profile magazines, and also catch up on all those things you might have missed during the year. Particularly enjoyable this year was Time's list of the best online videos. Appart from being highly amusing, it also shows us that:
1)South Carolina's education might not be that much better than SA's,
2)Mbeki should've taken a lesson from Obama on how to do party-political infighting properly,
3)It's funny to see people get electrocuted,
4)The Philipines may have the solution to the lack of reform in South African jails, and
5)Kanye sucks, Daft Punk should never have anything to do with him again and they should rather opt to deal with anime characters and a pair of hands.

Enjoy:

http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/top10/article/0,30583,1686204_1686303_1690876,00.html

AG PLEEEEZ!

This is a desperate plea to all of those going to the reunion tonight... please take lots of photos, and ffs don't post them on Facekak! Anyway, have a ripper time, i wish i could be there, chillin' on the biology veranda, singing the 'bubbly guava juice' song with the other Kibbutzniks...

100% Zuluboy!!

You don't need me to tell you, but Msholozi moered Mbeki in the ANC elections last night. 2329 votes to 1505! And all of the Zuma camp's nominations for the other top 5 positions in the party won by that margin or more.

Deputy Prez: Kgalema Motlanthe (Mr Moderate; will be our next state prez if Zuma goes to jail)

National Chair: Baleke Mbethe (Speaker of Parliament, apparently only nominated because they were concerned about gender representation. Tokyo turned down his nomination for this position)

Secretary General: Gwede Mantashe (Former NUM leader; avowed Marxist; the 'new Netshitenze')

Dep Sec Gen: Thandi Modise (daughter of Joe Modise, former defence minister who presided over the arms deal)

National Treasurer: Mathews Phosa (former Mpumulanga Premier)


Of course now we wait and see what happens with the corruption charges. If he does go to jail all eyes on Motlanthe, whom we seem to know rather little about. Other than that he is yet another former union man and economic lefty, who likes Cuba.

The 9 most badass bible verses

This nearly made me cry. http://www.cracked.com/article_15699_9-most-badass-bible-verses.html

Interesting sideshows...

We are less than a week till national conference time. It's very much the JZ show now, although there are still some unknown unknowns. JZ is winning friends all over the show now. He delivered a speech at WITS yesterday to commemorate international human rights day. He said lots of platitudinal stuff, then launched into campaign mode. He told us that a leader tackles the problems facing the average Joe. This includes AIDS, crime, Zimbabwe, and corruption. All of Mbeki's major cock-ups. It was a very impressive speech, which he clearly did not write, but I hope he took to heart. And all this with Tokyo Sexwale sitting on his right hand side, with Zweli one seat further down. That did make for a fascinating stage show indeed. Tokyo for VP anyone? Not a bad compromise if it shakes out that way...

Anyway there are plenty of fascinating side-shows going on. In last week's mail and guardian, ferial haffejee interviewed mo shaik on the future of south african politics. mo is shabir's brother, long-time shady-ass mofo, and of course senior bureaucrat (mainly in the department of defense. arms deeeaaaal).

Mo was remarkably arrogant, describing in great detail what a zuma presidency is going to look like, where the major challenges lie, and most remarkable, how some of the more senior figures in the mbeki government will "serve" in the new one. Remember, Mo is nowhere near being a senior ANC member. He has never been on the NEC. He is just an enigmatic power-broker who became famous when his brother got drilled in court.

Trevor Manuel, one of the people whose future Mo plots, took exception, and wrote this open letter, which appeared two days later... Makes for a fascinating read, and it quite reassuring in many ways:

Open letter to Mo Shaik

Trevor Manuel, Sunday Times and Sunday Independent, 9 December 2007

Dear Mo

I observe from the comments you made in an interview with Ferial Haffejee (Mail & Guardian editor) that you said of me, "I see a great role for him. It would be great to have Manuel stay on as finance minister, but the challenge is this: When you have been part of the macro-economic stabilisation programme, do you have the right mind-set for a period of heightened implementation? Would he have the flexibility of mind?"

I suppose it is incumbent upon me now to say: "Thank you for the mention, bwana." But, of course, I will not.

Mo, like you, I have the ANC in my entire being. The privilege of serving this movement in any capacity has always been a part of that commitment. Being elected to serve as part of the collective of its National Executive Committee since 1991 has been a tremendous opportunity for learning and for my political development. And, the joy of being called by its two successive presidents in state, Mandela and Mbeki, to serve as South Africa's Finance Minister is unsurpassed.

The emphasis, Mo, is on service. Service to my country and people becomes an act of love - it is clearly not a job, nor could it ever be an undertaking for notional power or the salary. And yes, the assignment as Finance Minister is one that I draw great pleasure from. But be assured that the opportunity I speak of is not something I will grovel for, nor do I ever wish to be beholden.

So, I observe that I might not have the qualities of flexibility that you are looking for - I am sorry that I fail you so. I also see that you see a great role for me - that is wonderful. But who asked you? You would know that your comments are exceedingly arrogant and gratuitous - but how do you claim this right?

I was so struck by the force of your attitude, I thought that I had missed a trick. I then checked the published list of nominees to the NEC - your name should have been in position 139, between Shabangu and Shiceka - but it was not there. So what is the source of your raw power?

Your conduct is certainly not something in the tradition of the African National Congress. It is obvious that you have no intention of becoming part of any elected collective within the organisation, yet you arrogate to yourself the role of determinant. Despite your glib references finding "synchronicity between the government and those in Luthuli House", you, quite frankly, act to undermine both the government and Luthuli House.

My plea to you is simple - it has taken 96 years of the most unimaginable toil and sacrifice to build the ANC into this formidable movement, it could be destroyed in five days at Polokwane - don't do it!

The ethos of the ANC over all its life has been Umfutho Kubantu, a movement of the people at its service. You have no right to turn this organisation into something that serves your ego. The task of building a deep and durable democracy that impacts on the lives of all South Africans is incomplete. Do not destroy the only vehicle capable of delivering that democracy.

Comradely greetings

Trevor Manuel

PS. The same message goes to the other self-appointed recent spokespersons for the National Democratic Revolution such as Patrick Craven, Fikile Mbalula and Jeremy Gordin.

Analyse this!

Hola almal
It's now the last day of my first week of employment. I say that in the sense that articles was not employment but actualy senseless torture (the CIA destroyed those tapes too)... but i digress.
I am now an equity analyst. Apparantly that means that soon I'll be a very clever person who tells people what share prices should be, but for now I'm not asigned any companies, so it means i spend my day looking at news on the internet and debating whether Tito will add another 50bps in February. Actually I don't know if that's what I'm supposed to be doing but everyone's being very kind to me because I'm new and they're all too distracted with holiday plans so I thought I'd take advantage of the situation while I can.
Here are two articles that I came across in my extensive and somewhat side-tracked research that are pointless but worth sharing.
Time rips off the Grammys
http://www.time.com/time/arts/article/0,8599,1691917,00.html?xid=rss-topstories
The Economist takes on American Cars
http://www.economist.com/displayStory.cfm?story_id=10249454&fsrc=RSS
Hope you enjoy
Ciao

And another late entry..
Lolly jackson predicts doom for SA as strippers plan to leave our shores. A plot worth of a Van Damme film...
http://www.iol.co.za/index.php?from=rss_South%20Africa&set_id=1&click_id=13&art_id=vn20071207055356511C826185

Chartin' rap

Som' o' dis be damn funny yo.

http://www.jamphat.com/rap/

Merry christmas everyone! Even the jew!

If Kazantip was in Half-Life

This shit is just too funny...

Vodka degrades your sense of style

So some of you lekker ouens bought me the Vice Guide to Travel DVD for my birthday, which is pretty cool to watch (didn't really inspire me to eat dog or get radiation poisoning though). I usually pick up Vice magazine at a record store in the city, but i haven't been there for a while until today. Anyway, i was reading the latest Vice and there is an article about this crazy Ibiza-style rave on the Black Sea, and a link to the Vice website to watch the short docco they made about it. Apologies to the ladies, because there is a lot of gratuitous boobie (obviously edited by a guy) but the whole thing is just SO FUCKING WEIRD. You should watch all four parts, its wacky...

Part 1 :

Yusus this is scary

SA flops in international reading skill test
Sue Blaine

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Education Correspondent

ALMOST 80% of primary school pupils did not reach the lowest benchmark in an international test comparing the reading skills of children.

And between 86% and 96% of children who speak African languages did not reach this mark, a Pretoria University academic said yesterday.

SA scored the worst out of 40 countries that took part in the international reading literacy study, in which an average of only 6% of all children tested did not meet this benchmark, Sarah Howie, director of the university’s Evaluation and Assessment Centre, said.

The centre conducted the tests in SA in 2005 for the International Association for the Evaluation of Educational Achievement, which is best known for a similar study, called the Trends in International Mathematics and Science Study, in which SA pupils also came last out of the 46 countries that took part in 2003.

In SA, about 30000 grade 4 and 5 pupils from 400 schools were tested in all 11 official languages. Internationally, 215000 children at grade 4 level were surveyed across the 40 participating countries, with the Russian Federation, Hong Kong, Canada (Alberta and British Columbia), Singapore, Luxembourg and Italy getting the highest scores.

The study is the first and most significant baseline study of reading literacy in primary schools in SA, across all 11 languages, and that also includes international comparative data and international benchmarks .

Howie said education department deputy director-general of further education and training Palesa Tyobeka, due to speak at the launch of SA’s results — the international results were released in Boston on Wednesday — sent apologies and said the department was studying the report and would issue a statement later.

The pupils in SA were tested in October 2005, just months after Tyobeka wrote an open letter to primary school principals admitting many South African children could not read “at all” and instructing principals to get teachers to teach reading. Since then the department had implemented a number of initiatives aimed at improving reading prowess, and a new study should be conducted to assess whether these had had any effect, Howie said.

SA needed a thorough strategy, involving parents and teachers, in which more was expected from schoolchildren and in which textbooks were delivered to every child, Howie said. “In fact, what we need is proper implementation of the curriculum in its current form.”

SA’s grade 4s scored 253 points, while grade 5s scored 302 — children from the top scorer the Russian Federation scored 565 points and the international average score was 500. “We perhaps were expecting to be below the international average, but not 250 points below it,” Howie said.

In an analysis of all 11 languages, those who wrote the test in Afrikaans, regardless of their home language, scored the highest points at 427, with English coming second.

English-speaking pupils who wrote the assessment in English were, however, the best-performing group overall, with grade 4s scoring 458 points and grade 5s 513. Second came Afrikaans-speaking children, who scored 364 in grade 4 and 430 in grade 5.

While the international test looked at pupils who had had four years of formal schooling — SA’s grade 4 level — SA was one of a small group of countries that tested children in grades 4 and 5, Howie said.

This was because of concern grade 4 was a “transition phase” in schooling, and out of a desire to check progress in knowledge between the two grades, she said.

White people suck (well some of them)

Aubrey Matshiqi's column in today's paper is (almost) unbelievable. Wish it was genuinely unbelievable... No wonder you avoid safas downunder grek.

happy friaday!

Pitiful comedy from my white baas
Aubrey Matshiqi

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I REALLY, really wanted to, and had planned to, write about how the floors of the houses of African National Congress (ANC) deputy president Jacob Zuma must be sparkling with the sheen of victory after his supporters wiped them with T-shirts bearing the face President Thabo Mbeki.

Then — skande of all skande — the ANC Women’s League somehow forgot that all women are programmed to think in the same way and voted for a man — Zuma — after they had been warned not to vote for “criminals” and “rapists”.

As you can see, my column this week would have been quite interesting indeed had a letter from the land of the kanga, no, kangaroo, great cricket and bigots from this part of the world not landed on my messy table.

The letter in question, which was addressed to “Kaffir Matshiqi”, helped me to realise that dedicated readers of this column needed some comic relief and a holiday from the ANC’s succession battle. So, I decided to share this epitome of erudition with you.

The author (no name was given), who refers to himself as “Your White Baas”, must have been quite miffed when he wrote, “I wasted two minutes of my life reading your piece in the Business Day on Monday, August 6 2007. At first I was tempted to dismiss it for the kaffir arrogance it palpably is but after a while I was driven to respond.” And what a response it was!

What provoked my “white baas” was the column, Seventeen years later, De Klerk stands at another crossroads, of August 3, in which I asked: “As was the case on February 2 1990, De Klerk finds himself at a crossroads. Is he going to seize the moment and rise to the challenge of true and meaningful reconciliation as he did 17 years ago? Will he give meaning to Mandela’s declaration that he is “a man of integrity” or will he choose the path of PW Botha by refusing to embrace fully the implications of his 1990 speech?”

As you can see, I was my usual polite self, but my kaffir civility did not have the desired effect on my white baas.

His contention is this: “While it is true that the apartheid whites did murder blacks in order to further their (whites’) goals, I would like to know the absolute numbers involved. I’m certain the above-mentioned murders will pale into insignificance when compared to the number of whites killed by kaffirs since 1994.”

Even apartheid architect Hendrik Verwoerd must be turning in his racist grave.

Oh, but there is more my friends. The white baas cannot understand why the excesses of Zimbabwean strongman Robert Mugabe in Matebeleland did not receive the international media attention they deserved.

Well I lie, the man has a very convincing explanation. He says that “the media hasn’t grasped the fact that a kaffir is by nature a lazy, lying, stinking, thieving primate that has only three thoughts in his brain: 1. Can I eat it? If not, 2. Can I f** k it? If not, 3. Can I break it?”

No one must tell me that black people are not a multiskilled lot in the face of such overwhelming evidence.

And now, here comes the coup de grace all the way from Australia. My white baas concludes by predicting that “Africa will be ready for recolonisation in 25 years time!”

If your stomach is not sore with laughter, you are going to need to get more airtime for your sense of humour.

And if you think I made up this letter, I swear by the souls of all dead kaffirs that the views expressed in it are indeed a figment of the imagination, but not mine.

If this outpouring of racist nonsense makes you angry, keep your hat on, because I needed some comic relief after what has been two years of really bad comedy in the succession battle of the ruling party.

Furthermore, I am certain that there are white people in this country who think in the same way as my white baas.

What should comfort us is the fact that the success of our nation-building project is not dependent on the participation of all white people. There are enough white people with whom we shall undoubtedly give effect to the dream of a rainbow nation.

As for my white baas, anyone who is this intellectually challenged deserves our pity, not our condemnation.

n Matshiqi is a senior associate political analyst at the Centre for Policy Studies.

Naija Boy! Go whitey.

Thanks be to Kelly for posting this on Facepoop. And apologies to Kerry for trivialising such a rad post on real art stuff in Afrika with this nonsense.

Afrika Be Burning

So I was only there for just over 24 hours but it felt like a week. Talk about madness in the desert: sculptures, gifts, paddling pools, The Pedal Power Smoothie brigade, full moon, heat, cold, sudden little tornado's, dancing in The Saloon, and setting it all on fire - It was amazing!
A couple of pics:

The Smoothie Brigade

The Desert

Gift of Music for a Gift Smoothie

The Machine at work!

Puppet

Balloons!

Giant Hamster wheels - A little tricky at first, but then lots of fun

Table Tennis!

The Gang:
Dan

Anna

Matt

Clementine

James

Chloe

Unfortunately the pics from "The Burn" at night are on Chloe's camera. So you will have to wait for those ;)

Check it out, my dad's famous....
http://www.businessday.co.za/Articles/TarkArticle.aspx?ID=3069550

Turn the volume up...

... get your insulin ready and listen to this...

My friend and colleague Romy is zooper famous

Yes that is German Chancellor Angela Merkel in front, and Romy in the background staring lovingly at the camera. The dress cost R3000 apparently, purchased by Sven on her right. But Romes assures me she didn't put out to get it. :P

HAIL, SEEK and SAVE WESTERFORD

Thanks KEN - for reminding us where are roots are. yes. The roots of the old chestnut tree.... Hail Westerfordians indeed.

Please help me. The roots are starting to stangle me. And god forbid we acidentally forget to invite someone. Someone, anyone who actually wants to put money in our bank account. Two people have already tracked me down asking why they haven't received a treemail...

so I ask, i beg and I stand proudly aside DR Gibbon on stage and ask you to do a devotion (or anything that else that creates a shudder) please extend roots, leaves, branches and any other parts of your tree. and help us SEEK and SAVE the lost ones.

Please don't let me suffer in silence.(or let the tree die) I know that I have dug my own grave, but this is when friends really pull together. Isn't it? Isn't this, our friendships that have blossomed over all these years, the product of just that. SCHOOL. mmmm. Think I need to go water my plants. and do some weeding. Jou ma se tree

They were and they arethe lost ones(in no particular order...):

Adrian Meader
Alex Runciman
Alice Scudamore
Andrew Callanan
Anton Malan
Catherine Young
Chris Pryor
Claire Spottiswood
Craig Bezuidenhout
Craig Rynhoud
David Sharpe
Elinor Spiers
Evan Castle
Fakhrie Hisham
Jayne Hoare
Jo Daly
john Gamble
Julie Kenney
KatharinaMielke
Kathryn Sieborger
Kelly Williams
Kerry AnnPalmer
Kristin Reynolds
Lesibia Montsitsi
Lethu Ncayiyana
Lundi Coetzee
Matthew Lilley
Megan Whitehead
Michael Manitshana
Natalie hurd
Nicole Erasmus
Richard Shephard
Robyn Saddler
Scott Mckenzie
Sherifa Bux
ThembisaBatyashe
Tony Marks
Yunus Higgs


Nil nisi optimum? I have forgotten what it means.. Higher and Higher/ or was that maybe Greenfield Girls? something about a Lark flying high in the sky.. more green and more nature. mmm.

Hail to you all. Thanks Ken.

lake of stars

hail westerford

y'all are a really, really popular bunch. so here be an early punt for lake of stars next year. this year was awesomebutawesome but could've done with more of a westerfordian presence.

http://www.lakeofstars.co.uk/

http://www.jhblive.com/live/publications_view.jsp?pub_id=211562

10/10/08 - 12/10/08

For your happiness - hope you can see it.

Go to http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Dave/comictallica6.png if you can't see it. Metallica SUCK!

F.Y.I.

Fishing ROCKS!

This morning, me mate Dan (from Soufefrika) took me fishing in his little tinnie in Sydney Harbour. We caught lots of little snapper, and some fugly fish, but nothing of legal size, but that wasn't the point. The point is that even if your hand stinks like rotten squid for days after, FISHING ROCKS, and might actually be more fun than reading, studying, or exercising.

Dan in aforementioned tinnie:

Sydney harbour bridge:

Me and one of my catches:

Love the smell of Jozi in the morning

This delayed me lank getting into work yesterday morning. It also prevented me buying coffee on campus, cos they locked everything down while the cops, most carrying R5 rifles, ran around campus looking for these fucks. We had to stay

Police nab Parktown suspects

Three men were arrested in Johannesburg on Wednesday in connection with an attempted armed robbery.

"The suspects were arrested in Braamfontein and they fit the description of the suspects that were spotted at Pick 'n Pay in Jorissen street while fleeing from the police," said Superintendent Lungelo Dlamini.

Early in the morning, the provincial crime intelligence unit reacted to a tip-off about a planned robbery at a printing business in Parktown.

"On arrival members noticed a green Nissan bakkie fitting the description of the one that was to be used by the suspects. When they approached the vehicle, it drove away," Dlamini said.

The three men fired shots at the police and drove off. The vehicle was later found abandoned in Jan Smuts Avenue.

Three weapons were found - two revolvers in a vegetable crate inside Pick 'n Pay, and an R5 rifle in a dustbin in a parking lot.

Dlamini said the bakkie was hijacked in Linden.

The three will appear in court on Friday facing charges of attempted murder, and possession of stolen property and illegal firearms. - Sapa

Gregs Eating Tips #1

When the sky looks like this (grey):

You have to have some of this:

Lewis Carroll syllogisms are cool

A mad distraction for your slow Wednesday:

1. Babies are illogical
2. Nobody is despised who can manage a crocodile.
3. Illogical people are despised.

Therefore babies cannot manage crocodiles.

This is a for real thing that Mr Carroll wrote. He was a wise man, no doubt. And probably also a paedophile. Almost certainly, in fact, if below is any indication :D

See I know nothing about Sefriken politics. Well a little maybe.

Check this story from Business Day. Thabo has lots of nominations to be ANC president for a third term. Zuma has less. Sexwale has the least.

So maybe the TM-JZ race is tighter than we thought, and it isn't "JZ's to lose". But I don't know if nominations accurately represent overall support, or indeed how the branch representation works at the electoral conference (not all 650,000 members trek to Limpopo to vote you see). Do provinces vote in blocs? Or do individual branches vote however they like? Hmmm - maybe Andy Faull can help!


AS PRESIDENT Thabo Mbeki told media in Namibia yesterday that the African National Congress (ANC) would reject leaders who sought political positions by campaigning publicly, businessman Tokyo Sexwale was taking an early lead among candidates seen as providing a “third way” in the ruling party’s presidential race.

Mbeki, who was on a state visit to Namibia, told the SABC yesterday it was against ANC tradition to campaign openly. He said that leaders who were doing so would be rejected by the party at the elective national conference next month.

He also repeated his willingness to stand for re-election as leader of the ANC if the party asked him . “If, in the nominations process, the membership of the ANC says we want Thabo Mbeki to continue to be president of the ANC, you can’t say no,” he said.

“Indeed, if the membership of the ANC feels that I should be the president of the ANC, I’m saying it’s within the culture and traditions of the ANC, and I understand them very well.”

Business Day independently verified that Sexwale ha d secured more than a dozen presidential nominations from branches in the party’s Waterbe rg region in Limpopo. Sexwale was on a whirlwind presidential campaign trail in the run-up to the ANC’s conference next month.

A Sexwale lobbyist in Limpopo said yesterday he had managed to gain support in the region by “weakening” an already “disillusioned” Mbeki support base.

“The simple fact is that TM (Thabo Mbeki) has not done enough as ANC president — the party is on its knees, as the country’s president — our people are still living in poverty. They have bought into the Sexwale dream.

“He told us to hold our leaders to account,” the source said.

But the race continues to be dominated by Mbeki and the party’s deputy president, Jacob Zuma.

Steven Friedman, a political analyst at the Institute for Democracy in SA (Idasa), said although Sexwale “needed” an entire ANC province to support him before “being considered” for a presidential nomination, the more nominations he got “the more seriously” he would be taken.

In Eastern Cape, the ANC’s strongest province, 345 of 468 branches had finalised their nominations for the party’s presidential race. A senior ANC leader in the province told Business Day that of the branches that had voted, 80% favoured an Mbeki third term.

“Seventy-three percent of the branches have completed their branch general meetings.

“Mbeki has about 270 nominations for president and Zuma about 80 nominations for president. That is how it stands. We have the big picture but not the full picture,” the source said.

Although Zuma only had about 20% support in the province, he had made inroads into what had traditionally been an Mbeki stronghold. Of the ANC’s 2700 branches, 468 were in Eastern Cape.

Friedman said Mbeki’s support among Eastern Cape ANC structures gave the “first indication” of how the province’s 906 delegates would vote in the party’s poll.

“This indicates that Mbeki’s support in the province is stronger than we have been led to believe up until now,” Friedman said.

He said this posed the question whether Zuma’s Eastern Cape support was real or had “all been hype” .

However, branch nominations are more public declarations than the secret ballot that would be used should the ANC’s presidential seat be contested.

In such an election, Eastern Cape would have 906 votes, KwaZulu-Natal 608, Limpopo 400, Gauteng 354, Free State 363, Mpumalanga 325, North West 280, Northern Cape 220 and Western Cape 219. With Reuters