Wednesday, 30 July 2008


Check it, and check it quick, cos it won't stay like that for long:

The Doctor

Tuesday, 29 July 2008

What kak

"Qwelane was well within the law but fell foul of the press code."

So says our press ombud.

Seems naive to me.

Gautrain construction devastating Gauteng Gummi bear communities

JOHANNESBURG. They're dashing and daring, courageous and caring, faithful and friendly with stories to share, but hundreds of Gummi bears have already been pulped by tunneling machinery under Johannesburg. According to conservationists, the Gautrain will wipe out Gauteng's population of the magical bouncing bears "far more quickly than Duke Igthorn could ever have imagined".

Construction workers on various Gautrain tunneling sites say they are finding fewer and fewer traces of the magical bears.

"It used to be that we'd see them once every couple of weeks," said mechanic Josiah Mphundu.

"We'd break through some rock, and we would see these bears, bouncing here and there and everywhere.

"But not any more."

Crews operating the massive tunnel-boring drill confirmed that they were having to stop work more frequently to scrape the remains of Gummi bears off the specialized drill-head.

"It's sad, but what are you going to do?" asked borer driver Blakkie Swart.

"When I was a kid you'd hear them, all through forest, singing out in chorus, marching along as their song filled the air.

"But now you sort of hear like a small scream, and then a kind of a wet noise, like someone smashing a watermelon with a hammer, and then you have to stop and scrape all that yellow and blue fur off the drill head.

"It's kak depressing."

Conservationist Eric Monkey-Chandler said that efforts to save the remaining bears had been hampered by a lack of knowledge about the secretive animals.

"Magic and mystery are part of their history," he said.

He said that the bears once inhabited the forests of Mpumalanga before the apartheid homeland system forced them to the cities, where they went underground.

"It destroyed their whole culture. They stopped producing Gummiberry juice in the late 1970s, and they've been drinking mostly meths since then."

He said it had been "heartbreaking" to watch the decline of the species.

"Once, when the legend was growing, they took pride in knowing that they fought for what's right in whatever they did.

"But it's hard to fight for what's right when you're stoned on meths."

He said any survivors in Gauteng would probably be transported to the Western Cape, where a handful of Gummi bear communities still survive, working on wine estates as grape pressers.

He added that he and his colleagues would be monitoring the Western Cape's bears closely, after receiving reports of exploitation and the use of the 'dop' system.

"They give the bears a dop of Gummiberry juice, and then put a lid over the grape-pressing tank, so it's a hell of a noisy, violent situation down there."

However, he conceded, "tramping on grapes and being paid in the Gummi bear version of crack" was better than being "turned to pink mist" by tunneling equipment.


Friday, 25 July 2008

Ag sorry Morne!

Seems like my little anti-religious diatribe offended everyone so much that they are boycotting the blog. A thousand apologies. For not posting more anti-religious stuff.

Anyway, here are some cool videos i have seen on other peoples blogs recently...

Monday, 21 July 2008

Sunday, 20 July 2008

What a fucking joke.

No, this post isn't about the Boks, though that game was a disgrace too. I'm sitting in the Darwin International Airport, enjoying the free wifi, and thanking god I wasn't in Sydney this past 'World Youth Day' week. That's a whole lot of mixed messages, but i think its funny that i went to Darwin when the Pous went to Sydney. You see, this last week was World Youth Day in Sydney, which was neither a day, nor an all inclusive celebration for the youth of the world. It was a Catholic-only, week-long closed party, and Sydneysiders had to foot the bill, as well as have all of their public transport fucked with, and their city shut down. Some even had their local parks ruined.

To any Catholics among us, i apologise in advance for any harm caused by this post, which is better than the Pope could do for the victims of his untamed minions. Unfortunately, the Catholic Church lawyers don't share the Popes shame. He could also have urged his followers to be more tolerant (and to use condoms!).

This whole thing makes me fucking furious. If the Muslims wanted their spiritual leader to shut the city down for a week to spread his exclusive message to his followers using TAX PAYER FUNDED services, well, we know how far that would get... That said, the Catholic Church actually charged people (more than $100 - and they say Jews are tight!!!) to attend final mass, but god only knows where that money is going. Oh, hang on, here is where its going!

In summation :

Dear Mr Pous,


All my love,


Tuesday, 15 July 2008

Getting people hot under the collar on my side of the world:

That New Yorker cartoon: The Times tells Obama to get over it

LA Times editorial board discusses the New Yorker magazine's cover cartoon -- is it satire? What do you think? The ed board weighed in today on the New Yorker's magazine cover — and in one of those rare moments, seems to agree with conservative commentator Michelle Malkin, who told the candidate to "grow a pair." From the editorial:

Let's be frank. People sophisticated enough to read, say, newspaper editorials are smart enough to know that the New Yorker's cover art this week — portraying Barack Obama as a be-turbaned Muslim and wife Michelle as an Afro-sporting terrorist with an AK-47 across her back — is a work of satire. But what about the millions of dumb Americans who will think otherwise?

Obama's campaign is deeply worried about the legions of morons who they apparently believe make up the heart of this great nation.

But, as Swati Pandey pointed out in yesterday's round-up, not everyone agrees that the cartoon actually works as satire. Here's Pandagon's Jesse Taylor:

... it’s like holding a satirized Klan rally by holding a Klan rally...with a laser show that makes a three-story image of a burning cross. A bigger, badder, better version of the thing you’re attempting to mock doesn’t constitute mockery, it just constitutes a gaudier version of the thing you’re addressing.

Sunday, 13 July 2008

Canadia HO!

Shabbat shalom muthasuckahs! I have been trying to write this post for over a week, and goddammit, now that i have the time to do it, i am completely uninspired. For a change. ANYWAY, i recently went to Canada for a week, primarily for the wedding of a guy i studied with, Joe, but also to taste Canadas national dish, Poutin. More on Poutin later...

So i arrived in Toronto on Friday afternoon and was picked up from the airport by my wonderful host Doug (brother of an ex-housemate, and all round great guy). Anywhere else in the world, Doug would be considered the greatest guy you'd ever met. He was courteous, generous, helpful, had a sense of humour, and patiently taught me how to pronounce Toronto like a local ('Terranow'). In Canada however, i'm guessing he is just another guy. THAT is how friendly the Canadians are. Very friendly. I don't want to marry Doug, by the way. Even if i did, he's engaged, to Julie who is also awesome.

The wedding was on Toronto Island in Lake Ontario, about a ten minute ferry ride from the mainland. Toronto isn't a helluva picturesque city, but it made a great backdrop to Joe and Jen exchanging their vows and signing away their personal freedoms in exchange for a life of safety, boring comfort, and ultimately, disrespectful children. Mazal Tov to them both!

I missed Toronto Pride week by a few days, but was just in time for the Toronto Jazz Festival. Its not quite the Montreal Jazz Festival, but had some big names (I missed Herbie Hancock by a few days). I saw Ahmad Jamal who was AWESOME, and made me regret missing him at the North Sea Jazz Festival all those ears ago... I also check out the Royal Ontario Museum (ROM) with its crazy new crystal front facade that is 'very controversial'. That's Canadian speak for fuckin' ugly. So polite those Canadians.

Anways, after walking pretty much the whole city (and a David Suzuki sighting in Chinatown) I hopped on a plane to Vancouver. Can you believe that they give you free drinks and snacks on the low cost airlines in Canada? I mean, Toronto - Vancouver is a 5 hour flight, so they probably legally have to, but still, so nice of them.

Vancouver is really pretty. Everyone says that, but its true. Prettier than Sydney, which is a pretty city. What people don't tell you is that's its a boring city. Even my ex-housemate Jeremy who grew up there and loves the place admits its boring. I kept thinking 'what a great place to raise kids!' which says a lot about my cluckiness at the moment, but also about the fact that not a hell of a lot goes on there. Weather sucks too. Despite the weather and lack of a pulse, Vancouver is actually awesome. My friend Tali has a flat there, but was away on business and kindly let me stay at her place with her hamster, Jack. I walked all over the city, checked out the beaches and parks and markets and the unfortunately named Vancouver Art Gallery (VAG) that had a great exhibition on covering anime, video games, and comics. That was actually really awesome. Ran into some yid who recognised me from the Claremont shul and thought this was reason enough to stop me and tell me he recognised me from the Claremont shul, but didn't know who i was. Awkward silence ensued.

I went to this great cafe in the gay district ('Boystown') called 'The Elbow Room' that had signed head shots of all these semi-famous stars from the 80's up on the wall (you remember when you sent in a self addressed stamped envelope to the Michael J. Fox fan club ? - if you lived in the US that is). Anyway, this cafe is famous because the dudes there give you loads of attitude. Totally camp guy comes to the table to take our order :
'Whaddaya want?'
'I'll have a cappuccino and the Barbara Streisand omelet please'
'We don't fuckin' serve cappuccino princess'
Greg blushes, coughs nervously and looks back at his menu.
Tali orders an orange juice.
'Does princess still want his cappuccino that we dont serve?'
'I'll have a tea thanks'

That was pretty entertaining.

Also had a ride on public bus where the bus driver grabbed the mic and held an impromptu trivia game mid-journey. The winner won a candy bar. That was awesome actually, people on the bus were cheering and the winner got to make a speech to the whole bus.

I have just realised that a don't have a picture of the poutin that i ate, but rest assured its foul. Imagine hot chips, covered in cheese curds, grilled, and the soaked in gravy. Yeah, that's what i thought, FOUL. Worth a try though. As is the Vancouver sushi house called The Eatery (Vancouver has a huge Japanese population). If you can get past the fact that it has 'Miso Horny' posters plastered everywhere, the sushi is actually damn good, as is the beer.

Anyway, after Vancouver, i flew to London for 24 hours, then Bangkok, then Sydney. Arrived in Sydney sans sanity, but was a great trip. It takes too vokken long to upload pictures individually, so check the embedded Picasa album...


Tuesday, 8 July 2008

soups of the world

I have been roadtesting chicken soups and different goulashes. This is partly for greggles. :-)
What's missing is the best tasting beetroot soup i had in Krakow.. fantastico...

Friday, 4 July 2008

wtf cont.

On a lighter note, appearing in local news last week:

Thanks to some text message-savvy grandchildren, North Carolina drivers whose license plates have the potentially offensive "WTF" letter combination can replace the tags for free.Internet Acronyms Parents Should Know The News & Observer of Raleigh reported Tuesday the state Division of Motor Vehicles has notified nearly 10,000 holders of license plates with the letter combination.

Officials learned last year the common acronym stands for a vulgar phrase in e-mail and cell phone text messages. The DMV recently realized the same letters appeared on the sample license plate on its own Web site. Officials are trying to remove the plate from the site. DMV officials got word of the plates last July when a 60-year-old technology teacher from Fayetteville complained about the plate after her teenage grandchildren clued her in.DMV officials said they try to keep up with the latest acronyms, and that anyone who has an issue with their plate can contact their local DMV office to request a new one.

Copyright 2008 by


Jesus Fucking Christ. Excuse my language, but seriously?

ANC boss accuses judges of conspiracy against Zuma

African National Congress (ANC) secretary general Gwede Mantashe has launched an extraordinary attack on the country's top judges, suggesting their bombshell complaint against Cape Judge President John Hlophe is an orchestrated conspiracy to undermine ANC president Jacob Zuma.

In an exclusive interview with the Mail & Guardian this week, Mantashe accused the Constitutional Court judges of being an element of the "counter-revolutionary forces" seeking the destruction of Zuma and the ANC.

Mantashe's outburst seems part of a concerted offensive by the ruling alliance. ANC deputy president Kgalema Motlanthe has also criticised the court over Hlophe.

Earlier this year, the ANC and the ANC Youth League attacked the Deputy Chief Justice, Dikgang Moseneke, after his reported remark that "I have chosen my work very carefully. It is not what the ANC wants or what delegates want; it is about what is good for our people."

In addition, Congress of South African Trade Unions leader Zwelinzima Vavi has assailed the South African Human Rights Commission, a Chapter 9 constitutional watchdog, as "liberal" and "yesterday's guardian of human rights".

Mantashe's remarks came a month after the Constitutional Court lodged a complaint with the Judicial Service Commission, stating that Hlophe had allegedly improperly tried to influence the court's judges in relation to cases involving Zuma.

Its this sort of shit that makes me want to seriously consider the permanent position that I've been offered here in North Carolina ....

Wednesday, 2 July 2008

No more floor crossing

We hope

At least there are bills about it now. Wonder why the ANC wants to repeal the law now? Has served them rather handsomely these past 5 years.