There is a free to air channel in Australia called SBS, which caters largely to the minority European immigrant communities (its "the wog channel" if you ask racist, small minded aussies). Its an outstanding channel, probably the best free television i've ever seen, and until a little while ago didn't even have adverts during shows! I know! They have commercialised a bit and show fewer foreign movies, but it is still head and shoulders above the rest of the commercial channels who only really show shite and think that Russell Crowes bowel movements are news.
Anyway, there is this show called Food Safari (Check the website here) and it is a show that picks a cuisine from a certain part of the world each week and shows some of the best places to get the most authentic food of that variety, shows some recipes etc. Its a concept perfectly suited to Australia and Sydney in particular that has pockets of immigrant communities dotted all over the place. Anyway, THIS SHOW HAS BEEN GIVING AWAY ALL MY FUCKING SECRETS. It has taken me 4 years of hard work and interrogation of every European and Asian person i could find to work out where to get the best dumpling/yeeros/curry/peri-peri chicken/custard tart/tandoori chicken/Vietnamese noodle soup etc. and this rotten cow is telling the WHOLE BLADDY WORLD!
Seriously, unless you want greasy chow mein with a side of salmonella, you have to know where to go in this city, and for a while, i did. I pretended i was friends with people, i studied the restaurant reviews for years, i checked message boards, I scoured websites, i did every thing i fucking could to find the authentic eating spots (i know this sounds very cloak and dagger, thats because it is!) and this chick has devalued it all in one sweeping food show. I learned in my economics elective that i should "maximise my utility" but this rotten externality of a show has ruined that idea.
I'm down people, but I'm not out! I am heading to some western suburb called Fairfield today (i have no idea where is it, but God help me, I'll find it) to have what is supposed to be the best Iraqi food this side of Baghdad. And if that whore of Babylon (this is funny because Babylon stood where Iraq now stands) has a show next week on Iraqi food, then there is gonna be some fucking shock and awe down at SBS studios let me tell you!
Greg out!
Ps Word on the street is that Morrissey will have something to do with the U.K. Eurovision entry this year. Watch this space...
3 comments:
Oi va voy! First your Petersham charcoal chicken and what next! Greg, how are you going to survive? Have they dicovered your curry place? Soon they will be camping out at the Fijian market, making friends with the cat and the parrot, spying on your every move! I think you better take her out before she ruins your life - you will not be able to survive with out your food and I am sure that Kurt will join your cause as a hit man...
YES! They found my curry place and even interviewed the bloody owner! They have exposed my secret yeeros spot, the portuguese custard tart bakery, the peri-peri charcoal chicken place, the tandoori place... the list goes on. If they do a segment of Campos coffee, i'm going to start drinking tea exclusively.
Somebody needs to attack Morrissey's eyebrows with a weedwhacker. Pronto.
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