What the fuck is up with Twitter? Seriously, is that the best new 'social media' phenomenon we can manage? Their angle is that they 'keep you connected in real time'. Why do i need to be connected in real time TEXT? Why don't i just phone the person i need to be connected to? Oh right! So they dont mean stay connected with my friends, they mean stay connected like a pop-consuming sycophantic leech to the arse of my favourite pop star? What a load of kak.
I know this little rant against Twitter is going to do nothing to its popularity (despite me being a techological tastemaker and futurist of note). In fact, I'm sure someone said the same thing about text messaging, and look at them now, little packets of communicative wonder, they've spawned their own retarded language. It wud b gud to spk like a 5 yr old, but i'm 2 old for that 2 i reckon.
The thing is, i think i get why Twitter is so popular. I'm sure that a fair proportion of subscribers use it for following the bowel movements and marketing plugs of their favourite stars, and i'm also pretty sure that people use it as a legitimate means of keeping in contact with news items, or new products or interesting tidbits that their friends might post up, but i am willing to bet my favourite t-shirt that the majority of users just like the idea of broadcasting their voice into the ether. It like a handjob for the ego. Its like a Facebook status bar. It does for your intelligence what a comb-over does for your appearance. Maybe your ego swells a little when you read your tweets back to yourself, but look at yourself in the mirror again... your witticisms aren't very clever, and truth be told, nobody gives a fuck, because they're all too busy tweeting at each other with their own hackneyed insights.
A few twitter facts :
- Its old (like years old)
- Nobody gives a fuck that you enjoyed Slumdog Millionaire
- It has been making headline news in Arse-stralia because a clever blogger has been using it to parody a right wing politician, intent on keeping the internet in Australia free of anything that might pollute the mind of its pure Christian youth.
- Its not even 1 zillionth as cool as icanhascheezburger as an internet phenomenon (not quite a meme), but hopefully it dies a lot faster