Metallica

Check it, and check it quick, cos it won't stay like that for long: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metallica

The Doctor

What kak

"Qwelane was well within the law but fell foul of the press code."

So says our press ombud.

Seems naive to me.

Gautrain construction devastating Gauteng Gummi bear communities

JOHANNESBURG. They're dashing and daring, courageous and caring, faithful and friendly with stories to share, but hundreds of Gummi bears have already been pulped by tunneling machinery under Johannesburg. According to conservationists, the Gautrain will wipe out Gauteng's population of the magical bouncing bears "far more quickly than Duke Igthorn could ever have imagined".

Construction workers on various Gautrain tunneling sites say they are finding fewer and fewer traces of the magical bears.

"It used to be that we'd see them once every couple of weeks," said mechanic Josiah Mphundu.

"We'd break through some rock, and we would see these bears, bouncing here and there and everywhere.

"But not any more."

Crews operating the massive tunnel-boring drill confirmed that they were having to stop work more frequently to scrape the remains of Gummi bears off the specialized drill-head.

"It's sad, but what are you going to do?" asked borer driver Blakkie Swart.

"When I was a kid you'd hear them, all through forest, singing out in chorus, marching along as their song filled the air.

"But now you sort of hear like a small scream, and then a kind of a wet noise, like someone smashing a watermelon with a hammer, and then you have to stop and scrape all that yellow and blue fur off the drill head.

"It's kak depressing."

Conservationist Eric Monkey-Chandler said that efforts to save the remaining bears had been hampered by a lack of knowledge about the secretive animals.

"Magic and mystery are part of their history," he said.

He said that the bears once inhabited the forests of Mpumalanga before the apartheid homeland system forced them to the cities, where they went underground.

"It destroyed their whole culture. They stopped producing Gummiberry juice in the late 1970s, and they've been drinking mostly meths since then."

He said it had been "heartbreaking" to watch the decline of the species.

"Once, when the legend was growing, they took pride in knowing that they fought for what's right in whatever they did.

"But it's hard to fight for what's right when you're stoned on meths."

He said any survivors in Gauteng would probably be transported to the Western Cape, where a handful of Gummi bear communities still survive, working on wine estates as grape pressers.

He added that he and his colleagues would be monitoring the Western Cape's bears closely, after receiving reports of exploitation and the use of the 'dop' system.

"They give the bears a dop of Gummiberry juice, and then put a lid over the grape-pressing tank, so it's a hell of a noisy, violent situation down there."

However, he conceded, "tramping on grapes and being paid in the Gummi bear version of crack" was better than being "turned to pink mist" by tunneling equipment.

From hayibo.co.za

Ag sorry Morne!

Seems like my little anti-religious diatribe offended everyone so much that they are boycotting the blog. A thousand apologies. For not posting more anti-religious stuff.

Anyway, here are some cool videos i have seen on other peoples blogs recently...

Southbroom

What a fucking joke.

No, this post isn't about the Boks, though that game was a disgrace too. I'm sitting in the Darwin International Airport, enjoying the free wifi, and thanking god I wasn't in Sydney this past 'World Youth Day' week. That's a whole lot of mixed messages, but i think its funny that i went to Darwin when the Pous went to Sydney. You see, this last week was World Youth Day in Sydney, which was neither a day, nor an all inclusive celebration for the youth of the world. It was a Catholic-only, week-long closed party, and Sydneysiders had to foot the bill, as well as have all of their public transport fucked with, and their city shut down. Some even had their local parks ruined.

To any Catholics among us, i apologise in advance for any harm caused by this post, which is better than the Pope could do for the victims of his untamed minions. Unfortunately, the Catholic Church lawyers don't share the Popes shame. He could also have urged his followers to be more tolerant (and to use condoms!).

This whole thing makes me fucking furious. If the Muslims wanted their spiritual leader to shut the city down for a week to spread his exclusive message to his followers using TAX PAYER FUNDED services, well, we know how far that would get... That said, the Catholic Church actually charged people (more than $100 - and they say Jews are tight!!!) to attend final mass, but god only knows where that money is going. Oh, hang on, here is where its going!

In summation :

Dear Mr Pous,

GO HOME!

All my love,

Greg

Bet you can't have this happen to you in Vancouver

Ravers lose sight at Russian laser show

Swak one.

Canadia HO!

Shabbat shalom muthasuckahs! I have been trying to write this post for over a week, and goddammit, now that i have the time to do it, i am completely uninspired. For a change. ANYWAY, i recently went to Canada for a week, primarily for the wedding of a guy i studied with, Joe, but also to taste Canadas national dish, Poutin. More on Poutin later...

So i arrived in Toronto on Friday afternoon and was picked up from the airport by my wonderful host Doug (brother of an ex-housemate, and all round great guy). Anywhere else in the world, Doug would be considered the greatest guy you'd ever met. He was courteous, generous, helpful, had a sense of humour, and patiently taught me how to pronounce Toronto like a local ('Terranow'). In Canada however, i'm guessing he is just another guy. THAT is how friendly the Canadians are. Very friendly. I don't want to marry Doug, by the way. Even if i did, he's engaged, to Julie who is also awesome.

The wedding was on Toronto Island in Lake Ontario, about a ten minute ferry ride from the mainland. Toronto isn't a helluva picturesque city, but it made a great backdrop to Joe and Jen exchanging their vows and signing away their personal freedoms in exchange for a life of safety, boring comfort, and ultimately, disrespectful children. Mazal Tov to them both!

I missed Toronto Pride week by a few days, but was just in time for the Toronto Jazz Festival. Its not quite the Montreal Jazz Festival, but had some big names (I missed Herbie Hancock by a few days). I saw Ahmad Jamal who was AWESOME, and made me regret missing him at the North Sea Jazz Festival all those ears ago... I also check out the Royal Ontario Museum (ROM) with its crazy new crystal front facade that is 'very controversial'. That's Canadian speak for fuckin' ugly. So polite those Canadians.

Anways, after walking pretty much the whole city (and a David Suzuki sighting in Chinatown) I hopped on a plane to Vancouver. Can you believe that they give you free drinks and snacks on the low cost airlines in Canada? I mean, Toronto - Vancouver is a 5 hour flight, so they probably legally have to, but still, so nice of them.

Vancouver is really pretty. Everyone says that, but its true. Prettier than Sydney, which is a pretty city. What people don't tell you is that's its a boring city. Even my ex-housemate Jeremy who grew up there and loves the place admits its boring. I kept thinking 'what a great place to raise kids!' which says a lot about my cluckiness at the moment, but also about the fact that not a hell of a lot goes on there. Weather sucks too. Despite the weather and lack of a pulse, Vancouver is actually awesome. My friend Tali has a flat there, but was away on business and kindly let me stay at her place with her hamster, Jack. I walked all over the city, checked out the beaches and parks and markets and the unfortunately named Vancouver Art Gallery (VAG) that had a great exhibition on covering anime, video games, and comics. That was actually really awesome. Ran into some yid who recognised me from the Claremont shul and thought this was reason enough to stop me and tell me he recognised me from the Claremont shul, but didn't know who i was. Awkward silence ensued.

I went to this great cafe in the gay district ('Boystown') called 'The Elbow Room' that had signed head shots of all these semi-famous stars from the 80's up on the wall (you remember when you sent in a self addressed stamped envelope to the Michael J. Fox fan club ? - if you lived in the US that is). Anyway, this cafe is famous because the dudes there give you loads of attitude. Totally camp guy comes to the table to take our order :
'Whaddaya want?'
'I'll have a cappuccino and the Barbara Streisand omelet please'
'We don't fuckin' serve cappuccino princess'
Greg blushes, coughs nervously and looks back at his menu.
Tali orders an orange juice.
'Does princess still want his cappuccino that we dont serve?'
'I'll have a tea thanks'
'Whadeva!'

That was pretty entertaining.

Also had a ride on public bus where the bus driver grabbed the mic and held an impromptu trivia game mid-journey. The winner won a candy bar. That was awesome actually, people on the bus were cheering and the winner got to make a speech to the whole bus.

I have just realised that a don't have a picture of the poutin that i ate, but rest assured its foul. Imagine hot chips, covered in cheese curds, grilled, and the soaked in gravy. Yeah, that's what i thought, FOUL. Worth a try though. As is the Vancouver sushi house called The Eatery (Vancouver has a huge Japanese population). If you can get past the fact that it has 'Miso Horny' posters plastered everywhere, the sushi is actually damn good, as is the beer.

Anyway, after Vancouver, i flew to London for 24 hours, then Bangkok, then Sydney. Arrived in Sydney sans sanity, but was a great trip. It takes too vokken long to upload pictures individually, so check the embedded Picasa album...

Candida+Londres

soups of the world

I have been roadtesting chicken soups and different goulashes. This is partly for greggles. :-)
What's missing is the best tasting beetroot soup i had in Krakow.. fantastico...

No more floor crossing

We hope

At least there are bills about it now. Wonder why the ANC wants to repeal the law now? Has served them rather handsomely these past 5 years.

#*%$ing Corporates!

Okay, I admit, I've been spending too much time on this blog and my work is starting to show it....
...but I had to share this article. It seems that a Naspers subsidiary has been doing some print jobs for Zanu PF.

But Naspers released results today, and because there is no socially responsible investing in this country the share price is up 5% already. Most probably no one will get fired.

And now this was just announced.

Zulu Surf Riders

I think some of you will know Carlos Francisco. He's going out with Melissa Budge. Anyways, we went to watch a doccie last night that he co-directed called Zulu Surf Riders. It was screened as part of the Encounters festival.
It was really cool! despite being shot in 7 days on an almost non-existent budget. I guess the content is sort of self explanatory, but its about these young Zulu guys who have started a culture of surfing in their comunity in Umzumbe on the South Coast. See the clip below, and the website here



ZULU SURFRIDERS extra from Carlos Francisco on Vimeo.

I been sick; and Vavi is a doos

Sorry - this happened on the weekend or late last week (it's all a blur) so I'm sure you're all aware. BUT IN CASE YOU AREN'T, Zwelinzima Vavi is even more of a rotten douchebag than Julius Malema.

Shot for the cartoon Paul - Zapiro better hire some protection...

Snow in the city

We've just been having snowball fights in Newtown and hanging out on the Nelson Mandela Bridge.







The snow of course was fake, and it didn't last that long seeing that it was fifteen degrees outside, but we had fun anyways.

oerol post

just spent the last week on an island off the wadden sea. check out my blog for more stories.
lekker......

I enjoyed this

M&G has a new site; and Julius won't apologise

It's pretty rad, this new Mail and Guardian site. You can totally 2.0 the fuck out of your online MG experience.

The first title story of the new site? Julius Malema is still a doos. He's been instructed by the Human Rights Commission to retract and apologise, and even JZ, the object of Julius's passion, isn't comfortable with the little firebrand. Julius not only won't do what he's told, he has also now accused the media (aka third force) of distorting his words and launching a sustained attack on his character and that of the ANCYL, to discredit the organisation's good work.

That, ladies and gents, is my favourite joke so far this year.

I thought I was rude about the ANCYL

Check what good old Xolela I am not a narcissistic alarmist Mangcu had to say today in Business Day...

For SA’s sake, nip home-grown Pol Pots in bud

ANCYL gets worse

Never say never! Julius Malema (below), erudite, wise, eloquent successor to Fikile Beebopalula at the top of the ANC 'Youth' League, is actually worse that his former boss. I am sure no-one could begin to explain how this is possible, but Malema was Mbalula's pick, so maybe it isn't so puzzling.


At his first major public outing as the new Prez of this fantastically useful organisation - a Youth Day rally in Thaba 'Nchu in the Free State - he encouraged folks to take up arms if Zuma goes to court. Opposition parties and NGOs have gone ballistic, and Malema has subsequently argued that his statements were not irresponsible and do no incite violence, because the prospect of a Zuma trial remains remote. Eh, what? So the integrity of your public utterances are time-dependent?

Even the ANC itself has 'expressed concern'. After all this happened soon after their Western Cape provincial secretary, Mcebisi Skwatcha (another venerable chap) was stabbed in the neck (he survived) at a recent ANC Western Cape meetinng in Worcester. And let's not forget the ANCYL's April national conference circus, where Malema was 'elected' - some claim he stole it. Reports suggested that certain venerable delegates (we shall call them 'elements') disrespected showed their asses to ANC leadership, other ANCYL presidential candidates, and basically anyone they disliked. Chairs and other objects became multi-purpose tools of protest.

The ANCYL is supposed to produce cultivated early middle aged people to fill posts in the ANC's senior leadership, and maybe eventually even run the party. The ANCYL was established by Madiba (check the cool youngster below), and has for a long time produced precisely those kinds of people.


But fokkit these ass clowns of recent times are something else, but no-one seems to care. Mbalula nabbed an NEC post at Polokwane because he backed the right horse. And the ANCYL seems to me these days to be little more than a finishing school for the easily tempted, ethically questionable, politically ambitious leech...

Nelson must be wondering wat die fok gaan aan.

Ok I am not going crazy or getting obsessed with animals!

But... this evening we rescued a seagull chick who had fallen six stories out of it's nest off a roof and if we didn't save him he would die! So speckles (after Pumpkin patch and because he is speckled) will be adopted by the SPCA tomorrow.





And in other news a piglet in Yorkshire who is afraid of the mud has been given mini-wellies! You will be pleased to know that the pig farmer has decided not to turn him into sausages and is keeping him as a pet!