Large Hadron Rap

Crossed the line?

Either way, I'd hire extra security until April 09 if I was Mr Shapiro.

In other news, Reuben's seems to have opened in the Post Office centre in Illovo. No I'm not talking about a franchise outlet for the Reuben's in Franschoek. If memory serves the Reuben's I'm thinking of (with the black and white signage) served good coffee and sandwiches that were the shizzat. Pastrami on rye anyone? With horse radish and pickles. Yes please! I'm going next weekend. Hope they haven't messed it up.

Don't watch if you're tripping

Most idiotic protest this year

COSATU marching against crappy Eskom management, or against price rises beyond the control of just about everyone, is pretty moronic.

But today a group of muppets has gone one further. Today the Anti-Privatisation Forum is protesting against poor service delivery. Who are they targeting? The public sector of course!

Makes sense to oppose privatisation when your public services suck so bad. Or not.

Story

Woo Hoo!!!

I have officially completed my Masters as I handed in my thesis this week, all 100 pages of it, printed, bound and spell checked, referenced etc. I am free of the "faeces" as Princess Greg would say and am very hungover, or still drunk I think. Woo hoo!

Sorry for more video posts, but you have GOT to see this shit!

First off : this guy is looking for a band... call Thailand, ask for The Funky Drummer

Second : Why was i forced to go to Yid camp as a child? Because there was no tourettes camp in Cape Town i guess...



Keep it real.

Greg

Lend a brother a dollah!

The Archive from Sean Dunne on Vimeo.

Housemate needed!

Howzit almal I need to replace Reabs from 1 September. To all those in South Africa please spread the word. My pad rocks. And it just got DSTV!

The Doctor.

!!!!!???

Pimp my ride, say traffic cops
08/08/2008 09:54 - (SA)

Marelize Barnard, Die Burger


Cape Town - Porsche, Dodge Viper, V8-Mustang, Corvette, Lamborghini... Name any luxury car and it appears on the list of super speed-monsters that Cape Town traffic police officers would like to use to do their patrol work.

The Mother City's traffic officials feel somewhat inferior when they compare their standard vehicles to patrol vehicles in other cities around the globe.

Now an earnest search has begun for companies that are willing to help the traffic department realise its dream.

At the monthly meeting of the Portfolio Committee on Safety and Security on Thursday, Heathcliffe Thomas, the head of Cape Town's traffic department, showed one photo after the other of other countries' super-bling patrol cars.

"We have to have world standards," was his passionate plea.

Oohs and aahs

The bling mobiles that evoked the most 'Oohs' and 'Aahs' were the Lamborghini Gallardos that are used in Italy and the UK, Hummers used in China and the US, and a Dodge Viper, Ford V8 Mustangs and Corvette CSs that watch over roads in the US.

The shortest acceleration time from 0 to 100km/h of a local patrol vehicle is 13.5 seconds - rather sad in comparison to a Porsche 911 Carrera's 4.5 seconds.

"We want to find a way to acquire vehicles in this category," Thomas said.

The portfolio committee's chairperson JP Smith of the DA pointed out that these kinds of luxury vehicles could motivate traffic officials.

Smith said it is not necessary to always buy at the lowest end of the scale.

The luxury vehicles will only be bought, however, if there are private sponsorships for them.

Bon Iver

This is what I haven't been listening to of late because with Canned Applause closed down and Amazon not delivering to SA, I can't get my hands on the frikken disc....

Sometimes bookworms take drugs and pick up guitars

Metallica

Check it, and check it quick, cos it won't stay like that for long: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metallica

The Doctor

What kak

"Qwelane was well within the law but fell foul of the press code."

So says our press ombud.

Seems naive to me.

Gautrain construction devastating Gauteng Gummi bear communities

JOHANNESBURG. They're dashing and daring, courageous and caring, faithful and friendly with stories to share, but hundreds of Gummi bears have already been pulped by tunneling machinery under Johannesburg. According to conservationists, the Gautrain will wipe out Gauteng's population of the magical bouncing bears "far more quickly than Duke Igthorn could ever have imagined".

Construction workers on various Gautrain tunneling sites say they are finding fewer and fewer traces of the magical bears.

"It used to be that we'd see them once every couple of weeks," said mechanic Josiah Mphundu.

"We'd break through some rock, and we would see these bears, bouncing here and there and everywhere.

"But not any more."

Crews operating the massive tunnel-boring drill confirmed that they were having to stop work more frequently to scrape the remains of Gummi bears off the specialized drill-head.

"It's sad, but what are you going to do?" asked borer driver Blakkie Swart.

"When I was a kid you'd hear them, all through forest, singing out in chorus, marching along as their song filled the air.

"But now you sort of hear like a small scream, and then a kind of a wet noise, like someone smashing a watermelon with a hammer, and then you have to stop and scrape all that yellow and blue fur off the drill head.

"It's kak depressing."

Conservationist Eric Monkey-Chandler said that efforts to save the remaining bears had been hampered by a lack of knowledge about the secretive animals.

"Magic and mystery are part of their history," he said.

He said that the bears once inhabited the forests of Mpumalanga before the apartheid homeland system forced them to the cities, where they went underground.

"It destroyed their whole culture. They stopped producing Gummiberry juice in the late 1970s, and they've been drinking mostly meths since then."

He said it had been "heartbreaking" to watch the decline of the species.

"Once, when the legend was growing, they took pride in knowing that they fought for what's right in whatever they did.

"But it's hard to fight for what's right when you're stoned on meths."

He said any survivors in Gauteng would probably be transported to the Western Cape, where a handful of Gummi bear communities still survive, working on wine estates as grape pressers.

He added that he and his colleagues would be monitoring the Western Cape's bears closely, after receiving reports of exploitation and the use of the 'dop' system.

"They give the bears a dop of Gummiberry juice, and then put a lid over the grape-pressing tank, so it's a hell of a noisy, violent situation down there."

However, he conceded, "tramping on grapes and being paid in the Gummi bear version of crack" was better than being "turned to pink mist" by tunneling equipment.

From hayibo.co.za

Ag sorry Morne!

Seems like my little anti-religious diatribe offended everyone so much that they are boycotting the blog. A thousand apologies. For not posting more anti-religious stuff.

Anyway, here are some cool videos i have seen on other peoples blogs recently...

Southbroom

What a fucking joke.

No, this post isn't about the Boks, though that game was a disgrace too. I'm sitting in the Darwin International Airport, enjoying the free wifi, and thanking god I wasn't in Sydney this past 'World Youth Day' week. That's a whole lot of mixed messages, but i think its funny that i went to Darwin when the Pous went to Sydney. You see, this last week was World Youth Day in Sydney, which was neither a day, nor an all inclusive celebration for the youth of the world. It was a Catholic-only, week-long closed party, and Sydneysiders had to foot the bill, as well as have all of their public transport fucked with, and their city shut down. Some even had their local parks ruined.

To any Catholics among us, i apologise in advance for any harm caused by this post, which is better than the Pope could do for the victims of his untamed minions. Unfortunately, the Catholic Church lawyers don't share the Popes shame. He could also have urged his followers to be more tolerant (and to use condoms!).

This whole thing makes me fucking furious. If the Muslims wanted their spiritual leader to shut the city down for a week to spread his exclusive message to his followers using TAX PAYER FUNDED services, well, we know how far that would get... That said, the Catholic Church actually charged people (more than $100 - and they say Jews are tight!!!) to attend final mass, but god only knows where that money is going. Oh, hang on, here is where its going!

In summation :

Dear Mr Pous,

GO HOME!

All my love,

Greg

Bet you can't have this happen to you in Vancouver

Ravers lose sight at Russian laser show

Swak one.

Canadia HO!

Shabbat shalom muthasuckahs! I have been trying to write this post for over a week, and goddammit, now that i have the time to do it, i am completely uninspired. For a change. ANYWAY, i recently went to Canada for a week, primarily for the wedding of a guy i studied with, Joe, but also to taste Canadas national dish, Poutin. More on Poutin later...

So i arrived in Toronto on Friday afternoon and was picked up from the airport by my wonderful host Doug (brother of an ex-housemate, and all round great guy). Anywhere else in the world, Doug would be considered the greatest guy you'd ever met. He was courteous, generous, helpful, had a sense of humour, and patiently taught me how to pronounce Toronto like a local ('Terranow'). In Canada however, i'm guessing he is just another guy. THAT is how friendly the Canadians are. Very friendly. I don't want to marry Doug, by the way. Even if i did, he's engaged, to Julie who is also awesome.

The wedding was on Toronto Island in Lake Ontario, about a ten minute ferry ride from the mainland. Toronto isn't a helluva picturesque city, but it made a great backdrop to Joe and Jen exchanging their vows and signing away their personal freedoms in exchange for a life of safety, boring comfort, and ultimately, disrespectful children. Mazal Tov to them both!

I missed Toronto Pride week by a few days, but was just in time for the Toronto Jazz Festival. Its not quite the Montreal Jazz Festival, but had some big names (I missed Herbie Hancock by a few days). I saw Ahmad Jamal who was AWESOME, and made me regret missing him at the North Sea Jazz Festival all those ears ago... I also check out the Royal Ontario Museum (ROM) with its crazy new crystal front facade that is 'very controversial'. That's Canadian speak for fuckin' ugly. So polite those Canadians.

Anways, after walking pretty much the whole city (and a David Suzuki sighting in Chinatown) I hopped on a plane to Vancouver. Can you believe that they give you free drinks and snacks on the low cost airlines in Canada? I mean, Toronto - Vancouver is a 5 hour flight, so they probably legally have to, but still, so nice of them.

Vancouver is really pretty. Everyone says that, but its true. Prettier than Sydney, which is a pretty city. What people don't tell you is that's its a boring city. Even my ex-housemate Jeremy who grew up there and loves the place admits its boring. I kept thinking 'what a great place to raise kids!' which says a lot about my cluckiness at the moment, but also about the fact that not a hell of a lot goes on there. Weather sucks too. Despite the weather and lack of a pulse, Vancouver is actually awesome. My friend Tali has a flat there, but was away on business and kindly let me stay at her place with her hamster, Jack. I walked all over the city, checked out the beaches and parks and markets and the unfortunately named Vancouver Art Gallery (VAG) that had a great exhibition on covering anime, video games, and comics. That was actually really awesome. Ran into some yid who recognised me from the Claremont shul and thought this was reason enough to stop me and tell me he recognised me from the Claremont shul, but didn't know who i was. Awkward silence ensued.

I went to this great cafe in the gay district ('Boystown') called 'The Elbow Room' that had signed head shots of all these semi-famous stars from the 80's up on the wall (you remember when you sent in a self addressed stamped envelope to the Michael J. Fox fan club ? - if you lived in the US that is). Anyway, this cafe is famous because the dudes there give you loads of attitude. Totally camp guy comes to the table to take our order :
'Whaddaya want?'
'I'll have a cappuccino and the Barbara Streisand omelet please'
'We don't fuckin' serve cappuccino princess'
Greg blushes, coughs nervously and looks back at his menu.
Tali orders an orange juice.
'Does princess still want his cappuccino that we dont serve?'
'I'll have a tea thanks'
'Whadeva!'

That was pretty entertaining.

Also had a ride on public bus where the bus driver grabbed the mic and held an impromptu trivia game mid-journey. The winner won a candy bar. That was awesome actually, people on the bus were cheering and the winner got to make a speech to the whole bus.

I have just realised that a don't have a picture of the poutin that i ate, but rest assured its foul. Imagine hot chips, covered in cheese curds, grilled, and the soaked in gravy. Yeah, that's what i thought, FOUL. Worth a try though. As is the Vancouver sushi house called The Eatery (Vancouver has a huge Japanese population). If you can get past the fact that it has 'Miso Horny' posters plastered everywhere, the sushi is actually damn good, as is the beer.

Anyway, after Vancouver, i flew to London for 24 hours, then Bangkok, then Sydney. Arrived in Sydney sans sanity, but was a great trip. It takes too vokken long to upload pictures individually, so check the embedded Picasa album...

Candida+Londres

soups of the world

I have been roadtesting chicken soups and different goulashes. This is partly for greggles. :-)
What's missing is the best tasting beetroot soup i had in Krakow.. fantastico...